The Real Reason
by eatingisgood
Summary: The REAL reason Shizuo and Izaya hate each other: break-ups can get ugly. ShizuoxIzaya


**For anyone who might be waiting on my other story: Sorry! I just got really stuck.** **Working on it though.**

**Now on to this one!**

* * *

The first time they saw each other was on the first day of sixth grade. Shizuo had heard his mom talking about the family who had recently moved right next door. The family which had a son the same age as Shizuo, she told Shizuo, obviously wanting him to make friends with the boy. She knew that Shizuo had no friends at school. Everyone was afraid of him ever since he chucked that vending machine through the window one day when some poor bully had shoved Kasuka.

The boy who had just moved next door would be going to the same elementary school as Shizuo. He would no doubt hear the rumors and come to fear Shizuo as well.

So, when Shizuo saw the boy on the first of sixth grade when they both exited their houses at the same time, Shizuo didn't even try to talk to the boy. He completely ignored him and walked on the opposite side of the road and ahead of the boy. The whole way there, Shizuo could feel the eyes burning into his back. Shizuo almost turned around and yelled at the boy in annoyance, but it was sort of refreshing to have someone stare at him without fear. He knew it wouldn't last long. The boy would find out about his reputation soon.

But, strangely, this same routine continued for the rest of the week.

Until that Friday.

* * *

Friday: the last day of Shizuo's first week of sixth grade. That was the first time Shizuo and Izaya spoke.

Shizuo peeked to his left at the raven-haired boy on the other side of the road. Only to immediately face his eyes forward again, flustered when he found that said boy was already looking at him.

And then, for the first time, Shizuo heard the boy speak. "I like you."

Shizuo blinked. "Wha-? Huh?!" He sputtered.

The other boy laughed. "Relax, I didn't mean it _that _way. I meant you seem interesting. You're that boy with the super strength right? How cool."

"…cool?" Usually it was "scary."

"Yeah, like a superhero." The boy laughed again. "Saving the world from those devious vending machines and other inanimate objects."

Shizuo glared at the boy. So he was just making fun of him.

Seeming not to notice, the boy continued. "Let's see, what should your superhero name be? Ah! I know! Ne, how about Shizu-chan?"

Shizuo froze. "What?! What kind of superhero name is that?!"

The boy just smiled. "It sounds so not intimidating, doesn't it? You'd probably think someone called Shizu-chan can't be scary at all." The boy looked at Shizuo knowingly. "Isn't that nice?"

Shizuo blinked. And then quickly looked away from the boy, embarrassed. "I guess." Shizu-chan was such an embarrassing name for a guy like him.

So why was he fighting down at smile at the boy's words?

"Well, we're here."

Shizuo looked up and saw that they were indeed in front of the school already. This is where they separated.

"See you tomorrow, Shizu-chan~!" With that, the boy took off in the direction of his classroom.

Just like that, Shizuo suddenly felt himself looking forward to tomorrow.

* * *

In the beginning of seventh grade. After the two of them had just had a vicious fight. That was Shizuo first realized that he loved Izaya.

Izaya had found out that a certain girl in their class liked a certain boy. And so he sent a fake a love letter to this certain girl from the certain boy and then watched in amusement as the confused boy rejected her.

Shizuo was disgusted. And he made it clear to Izaya. And Izaya wasn't one to take an insult without handing one right back. The fight had escalated from there, ultimately erupting into violence.

It had taken an entire month for them to make up. Really, it had taken an entire month for Shizuo to accept the fact that he could never make himself hate Izaya, no matter what awful things he did.

That manipulative nature of his was what Shizuo hated most about Izaya. But he loved him anyways.

…

…_What?_

The realization had been accidental. The thought had formed without his permission. And he couldn't beat back down into nonexistence. It was too late. It was already there and the more he tried to make it go away, the more it grew. The more he tried to think about disproving it, the more he proved it.

He had been exposed to the worst of Izaya. He had seen Izaya's most disgusting traits. And it didn't matter. Because he loved him.

* * *

The first time they had shared their feelings had been on the last day of seventh grade. They had been walking home together and talking about the loud, public confession that had taken place in their class earlier. Surprisingly, that _certain boy_ who had rejected that _certain girl_, apparently had a change of heart. And he apparently felt the need to share that change of heart with everyone, confessing in front of the entire class.

Izaya was laughing. "Her face was so funny."

Her face had been deliriously happy. Admittedly, Shizuo was a little jealous. He also wanted to know what it felt like to have the person he like confess to him.

Izaya seemed to read his thoughts. "I wonder how Shizu-chan would react to someone confessing." He turned to Shizuo and smiled wickedly. "Hey, Shizu-chan. I like you~."

Shizuo angrily beat down the automatic blush. He _knew _Izaya was joking. And it hurt because he so badly wanted to hear those words from Izaya sincerely. So he glared at Izaya. "Disgusting."

But then Shizuo saw something completely unexpected.

It was one of _those _moments.

Izaya had his own perfect mask made up of teasing and smirking. It wasn't like he was hiding his true personality behind a mask. He really was a manipulative teaser. It's just that, that wasn't all there was to him, and he default expression was actually _not _"smirking and teasing." So he wore it like a mask. It wasn't like he always wore it. It wasn't that unusual, for Shizuo at least, to see Izaya without it. That is, when Izaya let him.

But then there were _those_ impossibly rare moments when Izaya's mask cracked without his permission.

It was just a split second. Izaya was back in control before Shizuo could even blink. But Shizuo saw it. The hurt. And he was so shocked that he stopped walking and gaped at Izaya. He was immediately flooded with guilt. He had just hurt Izaya so much that his careful mask cracked. And that was something he _never _wanted to do. Shizuo never wanted Izaya to hurt at all. It was especially horrible when Shizuo himself was the cause of it.

"What?" Izaya was asking, confused by Shizuo's staring. But Shizuo was too focused on making Izaya not hurt to answer that.

"I didn't mean that."

"What?" Izaya repeated. But he was asking a different question.

"'Disgusting.' I just said that, but I didn't mean it. I don't think it's disgusting."

Izaya blinked. And then started laughing. "What are you saying, Shizu-chan. Don't tell me you _want _me to like you."

Shizuo just stared at him seriously, tacitly affirming Izaya's joking statement. No more lying about his feelings. Protecting himself wasn't worth hurting Izaya.

At Shizuo's seriousness, Izaya stopped laughing and stared back.

There was a long moment of silence.

Izaya, as usual, was the first to break it.

"…Hey, Shizu-chan. I like you." The words were said with a completely different tone. Izaya wasn't smiling. He wasn't mocking. He wasn't teasing.

Shizuo smiled. "I like you too."

So _this _was how it felt to have the person you like confess to you. Shizuo had no doubt that the 'deliriously happy' was making his face look just as 'funny' as that girl's.

* * *

It wasn't until three weeks after they had confessed that they had their first kiss. It was awkward and it wasn't romantic.

Shizuo thought it was amazing.

They were walking through an park at night after a "date." Although, even though they called it that, Shizuo didn't really see a difference between the way they acted with each other before confessing and they way they acted after. It wasn't like they ever held ends or said mushy things to one another. They hadn't even kissed. Every time Shizuo would try to initiate something, he would get too nervous.

But this time, he would definitely do it.

Izaya was talking, but Shizuo couldn't hear him over the sound of his heart pounding. First, he had to set a romantic mood. That was how it was done in romance movies anyway. Not that he had watched those for research or anything.

This was the perfect setting. They were alone in a park at night time. Very romantic. Now Shizuo just had to _say_ something romantic so that they'd both be on the same romantic page.

"Izaya." Shizuo cut off whatever Izaya had been saying.

"What?"

"…You… your eyes are…

...brown."

"…"

"…" Damn it.

"…Yes. Good job, Shizu-chan, proving that dogs really can see in color."

DamnitdamnitDAMNIT.

He had absolutely no experience with that sort of thing. That sucked. Nothing he did worked. Maybe he should just stop trying so hard. Besides, weren't they still young? Maybe they shouldn't be kissing? Maybe they were just too young for that?

"Oi."

But even so, Shizuo still wanted to. Agh! Did that mean he was a pervert?!

"Shizu-chan."

Did Izaya want to do these things? But surely, if Izaya- the bold, unflappable Izaya- wanted to kiss, they would have done so already, right? Izaya wasn't one to get too nervous and be unable to initiate a kiss.

"Shizu-chan~."

So that meant Izaya didn't want to? Or maybe Izaya had changed his mind and decided he really didn't like him that way. So-

"Shizuo."

Shizuo's head snapped to Izaya. Did he just call him Shizuo?

"Don't think so hard. Your protozoan brain can't handle it."

Shizuo was about to retort. But then Izaya's lips met his and all other thoughts were gone.

His first kiss. It was-

After just a moment though, Izaya pulled back.

Izaya smirked. "Calm now?"

No. Not at all.

But Izaya was continuing. "Like I said, don't think so hard. Just be your impulsive, throwing-vending-machines-without-a-thought self and kiss me."

Well. Shizuo didn't think that counted as saying something romantic like in the movies.

But fuck romance and fuck movies. Shizuo just wanted to kiss Izaya.

So he did.

* * *

In the winter of ninth grade, Shizuo had told Izaya that he loved him. His feelings didn't stop at "like." Shizuo had felt it awhile before that, but that time was the first time he had said it. He was a little worried Izaya would be freaked out. They were so young for him to be saying such strong words. But he felt it.

It was snowing. They were sitting on some swings in a park. He'd thrown something in school again that day and his parents were called to the school's office. He was lucky to have understanding, loving parents. But he felt so awful and ashamed. He hated his strength and the violence he caused with it. In his depression, he had gone to the park. Izaya had joined him soon after and they had sat there for hours. They didn't need to say much. Izaya's presence alone was enough to help him feel better, and everything Izaya could say, he had already said before.

Eventually, Izaya started the smalltalk to push the mood closer to normal and lighten the atmosphere.

Izaya hugged his jacket closer. "Aah, it's so cold here. It's decided. I'll move somewhere warmer when I get older. How about you?"

"I like the snow," Shizuo responded. He wasn't cold despite not having a jacket.

"Hmm? So Shizu-chan wants to move somewhere cold?"

Shizuo looked up at the falling snow. It really was nice. But then he looked at the lightly shivering Izaya. And as looked at this person had sat there for hours, in this weather, just to comfort him, the words just tumbled out of him. "I just want to be where you are. Always. I love you." With that, he quickly looked away.

He was afraid to look over and see Izaya's reaction, but he made himself do it.

Izaya was staring at him, shocked. "You…" Shizuo had never seen him blush that hard. He was _never_ flustered. Never speechless. But he certainly was then.

It was adorable.

"Really. Shizu-chan is so straightforward. And unpredictable," Izaya turned away and looked at the ground. "...Are you sure?"

"I wouldn't say it if I wasn't sure."

"But… I'm not… I'm…" Izaya paused for a moment to gather his thoughts. "Shizu-chan, you know I like to mess with people for fun? I manipulate and lie to people. I'm not a nice person. It doesn't make sense for you to love me."

Huh? What was this? Izaya never doubted himself like this.

"Of course, that's all okay with me."

Haha, that was better.

"But, Shizu-chan is the opposite. You're honest, straight-forward, and kind. And strong, and I don't just mean physically."

Shizuo froze. It was shocking enough to hear such words about him, but to these hear these warm words from _Izaya_? The forever-mocking, constantly-taunting _Izaya_?

"That's why I love you." Izaya finished.

…

"WHAT?!" Shizuo jumped up off the swing. "Y-you love me too?!" He stared at Izaya, searching his face hopefully for confirmation.

Izaya was blushing again, looking at the ground. "Yes."

He was hit by tidal wave of overwhelming happiness.

"Ahaha…hahaha!" Shizuo started laughing. "This is amazing!" He pulled Izaya into his arms. "I love you."

He never wanted this blissful happiness to end.

* * *

But just three months after that, it did. It all crashed down so very suddenly.

By that time, Izaya had already been involved with the yakuza for the past couple of months. Shizuo knew he was, but Izaya rarely shared any details about what he did for the yakuza. As a result, even before Izaya did that terrible thing, their relationship was becoming strained. Shizuo wanted to scold Izaya for getting involved with the yakuza, people who ruined lives. But at the same time, every day, he was constantly, overwhelmingly worried for Izaya. Izaya wasn't like him. Sure, he knew parkour and how to fight with his knife, but he wasn't as durable as Shizuo and it wouldn't take much to kill him. So Shizuo was always stressed and unhappy. Not that Izaya cared enough about that to stop what he was doing. Because Izaya was always selfish. And it was this selfishness that led to that incident.

It had been after school that day. Izaya had told Shizuo that he needed to stop somewhere first and Shizuo had come with him.

"It's just down this street. After this, let's go to the arcade. I have lots of money we can spend."

"Oh? Where did you get all this money?" Shizuo was already expecting an answer concerning the yakuza.

"I stole it from the yakuza."

But he wasn't expecting that.

"What?! What do you mean?! They'll kill you!" Shizuo immediately stopped walking and grabbed Izaya's arm to make him stop too.

"Relax, Shizu-chan. I've already set it up so they'll blame someone else."

Shizuo stared at him. "Someone else? Who? What's going to happen to that person?" The more he spoke, the more angry Shizuo got. "How could you do that to someone?!"

"Otogi Akai. That's the guy they'll blame."

He _definitely _wasn't expecting that.

"Wha- Otogi-sensei?! Our _homeroom teacher_?! Are you crazy?! Why-?!"

"Orihara-san." Shizuo was abruptly interrupted. In a rage, Shizuo hadn't noticed the guy walking up to them. Now that looked, the man was dressed like he was obviously in the yakuza. He was wearing a suit and sun glasses and his hair was slicked back. He was staring at Izaya. "About the incident that happened yesterday."

"As I told you, it was Otogi. I was just talking to this person about it. He's the witness I was telling you about." Izaya turned to Shizuo. "Heiwajima-san just said that he saw him running out of the office with the cash."

What.

Shizuo's mind was suddenly blank. Was this… He was covering for Izaya right now? He was supposed to lie and tell them that Otogi did it when he knew that Izaya did it?

The yakuza man turned to look at Shizuo. So did Izaya. They both stared him, waiting for a response, an affirmation.

Shizuo had to make a choice. He could tell them who really did it, but then they would go after Izaya. He could tell them that Izaya was lying, but then, again, Izaya would be in danger. He could tell them Izaya made a mistake, but he'd seen way too many movies about what the yakuza did to people who made mistakes.

Or he could ruin this teacher's life.

With his head down, Shizuo made his choice. "That's right. Otogi did it."

The man stared at him for a moment, and then turned back to Izaya and nodded. "Given your work so far, I am inclined to trust that your conclusion is accurate." He eyed Shizuo warily, "And that this source is reliable." With that, the man turned to leave, walking back into the bar he had come out of.

As soon as the yakuza left, Shizuo, in a rage, grabbed Izaya's shirt in his face and pulled him close.

"Why did you do that?! You planned this didn't you?! This is that stop you had to make?! You brought me here to lie for you?! Why did you do this?!"

Izaya only smiled. "Because it was fun."

He punched Izaya to the ground.

The betrayal burned. He made Shizuo tell a horrible lie… because it was _fun_?

"At least tell me Otogi is bad guy! At least tell me you framed him for a reason and I didn't just send the yakuza after an innocent guy!"

"Haha, but I can't tell you that." Izaya picked himself up. "Well then, see you later." Izaya took off running.

"IIIIIIZAAAAAYAAAAAAAA!" And Shizuo followed.

* * *

Three days after Shizuo's false testimony, the yakuza put Otogi in the hospital. The whole thing became a huge public scandal. Rumors were flying that he had been working with the yakuza and had messed up.

The school, not wanting to get involved, fired him.

His wife and kid, terrified by the men who had trashed their house, left him.

He committed suicide less than a week later.

Shizuo did that. What happened to Otogi was Shizuo's fault. It was ridiculous. He was just a simple, average homeroom teacher. And Shizuo ruined his life and pushed him to kill himself. All because he wanted to protect this awful guy who was having "fun."

He hated Izaya.

Or at at least he wanted to.

He _hated _that he couldn't hate Izaya. What was wrong with him? What Izaya had done… Shouldn't he hate him for that? Izaya should not be a hard person to hate.

But he couldn't. At the very least then, he would never forgive Izaya.

And he could _tell _Izaya that he hated him. Maybe if he said it enough, he'd start to believe himself.

Soon after that, anyway, Izaya and his family moved. Shizuo was glad. He would never have to see that flea again.

.

.

.

Well.

Until high school, that is. When an uninformed friend "introduced" them.

* * *

**Hmm, I went back forth and whether it should be a "normal" break-up reason, like Izaya cheats or something (becuz of course it must be Izaya's fault) or if Izaya should do something… "Izaya-like." So that's how I decided on this. But I'm still not sure if I would have preferred it the other way. So let me know what you guys think! Anyways though. This is supposed to be a one-shot, but I might continue it in the future. I'm leaving it as a one-shot for now though cuz it's seriously unlikely that I'll continue it.**


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